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08-Jul-2017 06:54

I got asked out a lot — at the grocery store, at the library, hiking the Matanuska Glacier, gliding down the bike trail.

Some of the guys who approached me were goblins; I regularly turned down the five-fingered grandpa — that’s five fingers total — who constantly asked me for a blow job whenever I drank at a particular downtown bar, and I practically ran away from a man who had the stringy baldness of a young Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show when he sidled up and asked me if I had any communicable diseases as his opening line.

In the four years I lived in Anchorage, I dated more than I probably will for the rest of my life.

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